Severe trauma is not the only contributor to people feeling lost or misaligned in their lives.
Like many of the amazing people I work with, there was a time I would spend hours focussing in every other direction than the one that was most important to me. I didn’t have time to stop because there were way too many important things that I needed to be doing and yet ultimately what I was kidding myself. I was keeping myself busy and looking all fine, while inside I was far from ok.
Getting caught up in the false economy of keeping busy being busy is a version of procrastination that can go undetected for years. The proverbial burying your head in the sand, and with time being such a precious resource, it’s really important to take a personal ‘time out’, to stop and take a look at what’s really going on.
When you keep yourself busy, constantly running around, getting caught up in emails, lost in the next brilliant idea or project, doing everything for everyone else, when you do all of this but notice too that your business or life isn’t improving as you want it to, your relationship isn’t as connected as it used to be, or your children have stopped communicating with you as you’d like them to, then something has to change.
All too often the keeping-busy-being-busy thing is the exact distraction you need, the perfect excuse as to why you ‘just don’t have any time for you’, and it is, of course, exactly the reason why you must stop. The you that is the real you can only be expressed when you choose to allocate that busy time to the most important resource in your life - yourself.
A perceived lack of resources, such as time, is often fears’ way of showing up and stopping you from making the changes needed in your life. Lack of certainty that the thing you are looking to spend that resource on is going to work for you, or your unconscious minds’ odd way of keeping you safe because, well, that’s its job! So if you’re not certain how spending your time working on you might work out, if there’s an underlying fear associated with looking at your life, or if there is uncertainty around it being worth the effort, you are never going to find that time. The time though, that’s always there.
“So how do you gain that certainty and ‘find’ the time for yourself?”
So how do you gain that certainty and ‘find’ the time for yourself? Firstly you have to actually want things to change. If you are happy where you’re at, if your life is great, contented, everything you want it to be, then you probably aren’t wanting anything to change. On the other hand, if you know you deserve better, could do more, have more and be more if only you had the right path to follow, then you’re going to do the research, ask the questions, get clear on what you want, and ultimately you’re going to find that time.
When something is important enough, no lack of resources matters, we always find a way. I’ve proven this to myself throughout my life, and my amazing clients have proved it to themselves too. When they got clear on the process ahead of them, felt aligned and certain it was the right path for them, the associated fears fell away and the resources they needed became available.
One of the most important things my clients find they need before we work together is the realisation and understanding that all of the work that we do together is ‘safe’. Meaning, we build empowerment and mental strength through goal-oriented processes which engage the mind, body and soul into positive change.
Something I tell all of my clients is that my role is not only to facilitate change but to also look after them. It’s to keep them safe mentally, emotionally and spiritually throughout the work that we do, from our very first session together. It's why the first elements we work on together are focused on perceived security.
Which looks like this;
1. We check in on how physically secure you are, both externally and internally. The places you spend your most time and the smaller spaces within these. This is likely to be different for each individual space so we start off slowly, building a foundation with the most important space for you first.
We then consider your physical internal security. The connection between your mind, your body and your spirit; your unconscious and conscious, or your blueprint and the engine. I use a beautifully powerful trance meditation that helps my clients connect to a safe and secure space inside, one they can take with them everywhere, before then bringing them in contact with the elements that are inside of them, ready and waiting to be found and expressed outside of them.
Everyone who works through these two elements of the first step in the work that we do together has profound, enlightening experiences. It is one of the greatest gifts that I both give and receive, being able to facilitate this experience for my clients, and I am always left in awe at the amazing experiences they have, both in the moment and far-reaching into their future lives.
2. The next step is to build a level of love and compassion for yourself beyond anything you might ever have experienced. This starts once again from the outside - the love of your physical body and then turns inside. Creating a bond between your past, present and future, one where you are the most important person in your life. Not in a selfish egotistical way but in a loving, worthy and empowered way.
3. Step three has you thinking about your self-belief, self-confidence and self-respect. We investigate the stories you tell yourself, the ‘rules’ you’ve been living by and what versions of your childhood you have bound yourself to. Letting go of what is no longer needed and building new, stronger, aligned beliefs based on who you know you can be.
4. In this final step we take all that you’ve learned above and centre your attention on the people in your life. Considering the different possibilities of situations from your past. Stepping away from the personal associations to the situations and seeing things through the eyes of your aligned self. Developing richer understanding, new learnings and the tools to enhance choice in all areas of your life.
The work within these four comprehensive and intensive steps will bring you to a place of deeper and greater understanding of who you are and the confidence to give that out to the world. The greater sense of self that you will achieve from the above will enable you to stand more empowered in the conversations you have, the decisions you make, and the focus you choose in every aspect of your life.
You will no longer have the need consciously, or unconsciously, keep yourself busy being busy. You will be far too engrossed in expressing yourself out to the world and embodying the experiences that come back to you. In fact, when you do the work to find and connect to all that you truly are, you leave the busyness behind you. Your mind flows more freely, you become more able to move through your daily tasks with ease. Your brain becomes more focused and even the real tasks get done more quickly. Freeing up even more time for you. Time to live, time to breathe, time to thrive. It starts by being honest with yourself.
So what can you do today? The first step is to take an inventory and notice where you are busy doing the things that are important in your day, and where you might be keeping yourself ‘busy-being-busy’. I can guarantee that if there is a misalignment between where you are in your life and where you want to be, there are more ‘busy-being-busy' moments than you might have cared to admit.
Once you are ready to reallocate that busy time back to being all that you can be, if you want my help to find and connect to yourself again so that you can express yourself fully, in every area of your life and achieve the goals that have eluded you for far too long, the four steps above are exactly what I cover with my clients to help them achieve all they are looking for.
Get in touch and let’s get you moving forward with your best life now.